Friday, June 26, 2009

Stupidest conversations of the week

1: Blogging Idiot: ...and after that my wife and I had curry at a small restaurant...

A-san: eeeehhhhh! What kind of curry, Japanese or Indian?

Blogging Idiot: (sensing imminent nausea) Japanese.

A-san: eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh! Japanese!!!

(A-san was impressed---or pretending to be---that I eat Japanese food. In Japan. With a Japanese wife. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

2: N-san: ( A friend who went to school in Canada and speaks English.) So you still take Japanese lessons?

Blogging Idiot: Yea, maybe I'll never stop.

N-san: So when you go to a shop to buy something, do you speak Japanese?

Blogging Idiot: (Thought, but not said: WTF kind of stupid question is that?) Uhhh, yes. Sometimes though people will start answering me in English even though they can't speak English.

N-san: HaHa. You don't look like the type who can speak Japanese.

Awkward pause as I tried to come up with an appropriate response that was not overly-direct, and as he---realizing what he just said---tried to avoid getting an overly-direct response.

N-san: Well only a few Westerners speak Japanese like a native.*

Blogging Idiot: ..............Unable to reply......(Thoughts: %#@#*&!!! Possible appropriately childish reply thought of too late: "You don't like like someone who can speak English. In fact, you don't sound like it either.)

3. U-san: The government is going to pass a new law which will make it easier for Japanese women to work while raising children. I don't know if it will work though, as it is a cultural problem.

Blogging Idiot: Is that so?

U-san: Yes. In the US, people can be single until they are 35-40 because it's a good image. They are just playing around---like playboys. But in Japan, people have to marry soon.

Blogging Idiot: ??????? (Last surviving braincell dropped dead.)

*And the Blogging Idiot certainly can't.

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