What's the keyword?

Over on Japan Economy & News Blog, one can read a number of reports on the continuing decline in sales at department stores. I suppose there are many reasons for this, but one thing is for sure: Poor service has nothing to do with it, for Japan is as well-known for its uniformly good---even superior---service as it is for being hygiene-obsessed and uniquely having 4 seasons.

Imagine my surprise when due to what she called bad service, the wife decided to go down to Minatomirai for lunch instead of our usual Takashimaya. She didn't actually refuse to go, but said she'd eat at Takashimaya (reluctantly) but would do no shopping.

So off to Yokohama we went, with her explaining her reasons---repeatedly over the 20+ minute ride---for cutting up our Takashimaya credit card and ditching thoughts of investing in Takashimaya stocks*. Seems she was so upset by the service at the Shinjuku Takashimaya that even after several complaints and entirely phony apologies, she is planning on sending a written complaint to the president of the company.

A week or so ago, she had stopped at the Shinjuku branch of Takashima to pick up some sushi and discovered that they were holding a special event there for Kyushuu foods. After picking up some ¥200 each fish cakes from one vendor, she went into line to pay. The clerks were telling folks which line to stand and wait in because it was quite crowded.

Finally, she got to the Money Taker. The MT woman said, "Keyword, please."

A**ko: Huh? What keyword?

MT: Didn't you see the TV CM? You have to have the keyword.

The wife, not being the submissive little Japanese lady of myth and fetish was less than pleased to be bothered with such nonsense and let the woman know it. The "embarrassed-looking" Money Taker went to ask the "Idiotic-Looking Manager".

I-LM: We're very sorry, but we can't sell you those fish cakes without the keyword.

A**ko: Do you mean I have to watch TV for a keyword and I can't buy anything here if I don't? I don't care about the discount, I just wanna buy these.

I-LM: Sorry. There are many other items that may be useful to you that you can buy here, but since this is a special event, you cannot by those fish cakes without the keyword. It's only those which you cannot buy.

Ready to punch an Idiotic-Looking Manager A**ko: You don't have any signs saying that a keyword is needed. None of your staff told anyone. I stood in line to buy these. Why don't you let people know before they waste their time?

I-LM: Well, if we put a sign up, then customers will tell each other the keyword and anyone could buy it.

After a few minutes of this, and perhaps fearing for his life, he offered to call someone higher up "to apologize." She refused as "I didn't want an apology! They wouldn't admit that they did anything wrong, they just wanted to apologize because I had to wait."

She sent an e-mail through Takashimaya's website complaining about that, and they wrote back and said that they would set up a sign informing customers of the need for a keyword in future events. Since they still "have not admitted they they did anything wrong," she still refuses to accept any vague non-apology apology.

Personally, I find this shocking! Less than perfect service in Japan? And an improper apology from the always polite citizens who always sincerely apologize? Perhaps the wife has been spoiled and no longer understands Japan.

*We would not invest in the stocks expecting to gain anything, but because stockholders get a 10% discount on purchases. Mitsukoshi offers a similar scam deal and she is now considering an "investment" there. This isn't an uncommon thing in Japan from what I have heard and it is done for the discount and other benefits, not as a "normal" investment.

The World's Dirtiest McDonald's

has to be the one in Denenchofu. No matter when I go there, it is always filthy. Early morning or late at night, it makes no difference. Floors are covered with pieces of paper, dirt, cigarette butts and who knows what else. The tables appear to be sloppily wiped off about once every 30 customers. Naturally, this being Japan, the smoking and non-smoking sections are in the same room. In fact, the tables are side-by-side with no ventilation. What's the point? (anyway, I will bet that I can find some nihonjinron nutter who claims that cigarette smoking is a Japanese tradition and them thar foreigners and Japanese non-smokers should leave traditional smokers alone.) It's usually filled with a bunch of loud, ill-mannered junior high and high school punks anyway. I try to avoid it, but it is open late and cheap. Just have to eat dirt and breath smoker-shit.

In contrast, the Denenchofu KFC is sparkling clean. Most every KFC I have been to in any country has been in some state of filthiness. Not this one.

Starbucks. I am not a Starbucks hater. In fact, it is pretty good for the price. You can get tasteless fake coffee here in smoke-filled Dotours for more. (I mean it. It has no coffee taste for me. Just a warm brownish liquid with an undefinable taste.) You can get a cup of instant for more than $5 too. You can go to Tullys and get good coffee, however, some have smoking rooms without doors (does the word idiotic fit here?) so you have to inhale smoker-shit with your coffee.

But one of the Starbucks in Jiyugaoka is pretty bad. No, it's clean. Its coffee is typical Starbucks, but sometimes it seems as if they ran out of Starbucks coffee and substituted weak instant coffee---or even worse, it tastes like Dotours coffee. But its food is always dried out and hard as a rock. It isn't really fit to eat. Now Starbucks could never be accused of having good food. In fact, at best some of it is barely edible. But at this Starbucks they set the standard for old, stale, possibly decaying fake food. It's not the one near the station, but the one close to UFJ bank. I complained once. I even filled out the "How are we doing" form. I suspect since my Japanese isn't perfect, that form was used to provide entertainment for the staff.

Another nice thing about Starbucks is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to get a seat. People will buy a small coffee and then study or chat for 3-4 hours or more. During test season they get filled with students studying for hours and buying nearly nothing. Some, such as the one in the Takashimaya Dept. store in Futakotamagawa even put up signs asking students not to stay for such a long time. They ignore those signs. The staff, this being Japan, does nothing.

I have lessons in Starbucks sometimes, and when I do and I will be there for over an hour, I buy more accordingly. It is only fair, I am using space that they could use for other paying customers. However, at the Jiyugaoka Starbucks, I sure can't buy food, so its gotta be more coffee.