Speaking of Mama Grizzlies, I was once again puzzled by the goings on in the US. After a person who might be called a loony-bird by less politically correct, cruder folk went on a shooting spree in Tucson, the early consensus among media types and some on the far left seemed to be that Sarah Palin was somehow to blame. Apparently, her map with crosshairs targeting certain seats for takeover by Republicans caused a guy who, among other things, was upset about the improper usage of English grammar* to go on a shooting spree.

This all began a debate on the recent (?) lack of civility in US politics which---if you are so foolish as to read comments on newspaper articles/editorials---seemed to mostly be partisans blaming each other for being at least partially responsible for the shootings. Obviously, it was a political shooting, I learned, as a politician was shot.

Sarah Palin doesn't seem to be the type one would want to answer the phone at 3AM to deal with a national crisis, and many have insinuated---or outright said---that she is an idiot. Whether she is or isn't, she is much smarter than many of her opponents and the attention-seeking, tattletale media: "Mommy, mommy, Sarah stuck out her tongue!" One of the few who seem to get Palin and her affect on supporters is Frank Rich of the NYT.

In an angry time when America’s experts and elites all seem to have failed, her amateurism and liabilities are badges of honor. She has turned fallibility into a formula for success. Frank Rich, NYT

He was talking about Republican opposition to her, but it applies across the board. (His article of today concerning the shooting and aftermath is good too).

During this controversy over violence-inciting military/firearms language being over-used, ABC news reported on a Weather Bomb which was about to "explode" over the eastern USA. Back in the day, we referred to these things as winter storms, which became weather events, which became "White Armageddon 1998," or the "OMG! We're All Gonna Die Fog Event of 1999." Stay tuned for continued coverage which consists of cute reporters standing outside in the snow and commenting on how cold it is with scenes of people who can't drive in snow crashing or getting stuck. Stock scenes will do fine.

Why do I feel better informed by The Onion


Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

and Jon Stewart

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Veiled Criticism
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

and why do I wish we had Japanese versions?

End of editorial. Sorry, I mean rant. Editorials are the ones in newspapers.

*Anyone who has ever worked as a proofreader knows that if being obsessed with proper grammar is a sign of insanity, the world is doomed. Just for fun, see if you can let an error get through and then sit back and wait for the letters and e-mails. It's even more fun if you have an international readership from the US, England, Australian, New Zealand** and so on. (Must use "so on" and not "etc." etc is for use only in parentheses, but that's another fun topic which may depend on your style guide.)

**Speaking of poor English, Google spell check does not recognize "Zealand" of New Zealand as a properly spelled word.

EDITED: 5:52pm and again at 6:44 and 7:39.

Joggers wobbling around chaotically

Apparently the conflict between joggers and pedestrians around the Imperial Palace is on again, according to NHK news. It has become so severe that the Chiyoda-ku government has decided to call a panel in March consisting of joggers and other residents to come up suggestions for rules for joggers. The government will then decide which of these suggested rules they will enact. Should take less than a thousand years.

The joggers reportedly spread out and take the entire sidewalk, run zigzag through zigzagging pedestrians who are spread out taking the entire sidewalk, or sometimes even get off the sidewalk and run on the road. In other words, joggers are jogging like pedestrians walk and mama-chari-ists and cops ride bicycles regardless of rules and laws.

Could it be that joggers are not jogging while reading e-mail and thus standing out amongst Tokyoites? And will joggers, unlike pedestrians and mama-chari-ists pay any attention to any rules that are eventually drawn up?

Will someone someday make some rules for the fine young ladies of the private girls school in Denenchofu so that we may walk down the sidewalk without being trampled by a horde of them?

Money is on "no" to both questions.

Edited Jan 11 as I cannot spell nor understand the difference between "horde" and "hoard."

Imagine

Imagine a country where everyone is good at his or her job. Imagine a country where everyone has respect for elders and teachers. Imagine a country where every shop clerk treats each customer like an honored guest. Imagine a country where everyone wears expensive clothing, the food is slurpy, and there aren't any napkins because apparently nobody needs them. Imagine a country where everyone has good taste.

You've imagined Japan....The climate in Tokyo is similar to that of New York City.

Ahhh...another year ends in the Lake Wobegon* of the universe. On the day after Christmas, the 3rd day of winter of 2010-2011, as I walked around weird but wonderful Meguro trying to avoid being hit by mama-chari-ists with good taste dressed in expensive finery while I hoped that other pedestrians would allow me some sidewalk, I was able to enjoy the autumn leaves of the world’s most clearly distinct winter season which is similar to that of New York.

I must finally admit that I have been wrong for years and years. Japan is uniquely unique in some ways, one being the ability of non-Japanese (and the occasional Japanese trying to polish Japan up for the naive) to suspend all trace of common sense about Japan and the Japanese. To say anything less than complimentary about Japan is evidence that one misunderstands the country and is probably a racist. (Does Japan have a separate race from say, China? What is a race?) On the other hand preaching nothing but out of this world goodness about Japan is acceptable. Remember what CIA agent Bryan Woodman (Matt Damon) said in Syriana: “It’s not racist if it’s positive.”

I have spent too much time looking at Japan-related sites and blogs (especially Tumblr) and found that this imaginary Japan is the Japan that many desperately hope exists, for if they were to actually come here and find that it does not exist, they would lose all faith in nirvana. Folks who spend time on those sites/blogs looking at the best architecture, art, manga, cute girls in Harajuku and Akihabara, believe they are seeing Japan. And many whose fantasy comes true and are able to visit see nothing to dispel them of the fantasy.

Just after 9/11, I put an ad for a private Japanese teacher in the magazine Metropolis Tokyo. Some Japanese fellow answered, not to get information about the job, but to try to instigate a fight saying things like: "I am glad that America was attacked. You people come to Japan and think it is Disneyland. I hope you get attacked again.” (paraphrased). He had sent the e-mail to dozens of people who had placed ads. He wrote in English, but his English had tell-tale signs of a less than fluent Japanese person's English. He was certainly correct about many foreigner's views (not only Americans by far) of Japan being Disneyland.

I guess the imaginary Japan is needed as the extreme "other," not an other in the sense of a bad, sneaky, devious, unscrupulous other (at least not until the next trade/whaling etc dispute), but as the "perfect" other.

*The Lake Wobegon Effect as pertains to Japan is not something that Japanese are guilty of, it is foreigners who tend to be.

Impossible in Japan

Edited 2:10 and 2:29pm

Motivating かな。。。。。

Sorry for the delayed responses

to a few comments on my post below, but I have finally made poorly written replies full of grammatical and spelling errors. Blogger does not allow long comments, nor does it allow any editing or correcting after posting, so they are a bit of a mess. Hopefully they are understandable.

1.000 Thing(s)...

OK. I sorta stole the title from another Japan blogger, but I figured that she would miss posting about this because, well, because she is a she.

Ever bought men's underwear at Uniqlo? Why not, right? It's cheap and of decent quality. Why go to Ito Yokado and pay more for something not as good and only available in the color and style which are guaranteed to make birth control and/or Viagra irrelevant?

The only down side is that some of Uniqlo's shorts haven't the opening in front. I suppose this helps keep costs down. Anyway, why would a man need the opening? I understand that in Japan (I swear, I read a poll somewhere) that a number of men sit to...ummm...tinkle? For fellows who consider themselves too manly for that, it is pretty simple to just pull the elastic waistband down while doing the business.

The problem is, that should a fellow let the elastic band slip from his grasp during that time, the results will be more or less unpleasant in a number of ways.

I won't miss men's underwear without an opening in front when I leave.

Ever looked at some of the photography which is popular in Japan and wondered why? Not just because like lots of art you have to be steeped in a gazillion years of art history, and art, and have much experience using such terminology as "texture" and tonality and such to explain something that you really don't get, but because it is really outside what you observe or practice yourself. (In other words, you wonder what makes photos of overhead electric lines art.)

I don't give much credence to the East is East and West is West and ne'r the twain shall meet way of thinking, and I have a knee jerk reaction to "Japan is the only country..." but some of the photography is puzzling to say the least. (OK, so is some---much---of Western photography outside of landscape/wildlife).

Anyway, there is a new online magazine called Trans Asia Photography Review, which in it's inaugural issue promises to look at the relationship of culture with photography. Not that everyone accepts the East-is-East stuff:

Non-Asia looks at Asia in a certain way, and therefore Asia looks at, and projects itself, like that too. A couple of centuries ago, this was called Colonialism or Imperialism. Then Edward Said called it Orientalism.

Now it is called Context, and the right-minded, well-intentioned, academically respectable sound of the word obscures the structures of power/knowledge/funding that create this primacy of Context.This is why I am profoundly uncomfortable with the notion of Asia (or any other region) as context – especially when that notion is created and sustained in the non-Asian parts of the world, and then globalized. Aveek SEN, Trans Asia Photography Review.

Written from a more academic perspective, it still promises to be of interest to anyone interested in Asia and art, especially photography. And believe it or not, Japan is considered part of Asia on that site!!!!

For some reason, I cannot get links to stick without going into HTML. Is blogger run by JAL?

Lookin' for trouble and finding it.

Most folks around these parts go out of their way to avoid trouble, such as some idiot hanging around in back alleys in the rain taking pictures.

Others do not hesitate to look for it. For them, the NYT and Martin Fackler have published the second in the series on Japan (or is it the US?) and the "Great Deflation." Today, the never before discussed well-worn theoretical possibility of the US turning into Japan is explored in a nice quick way that answers no questions: U.S. Hears Echo of Japan's Woes. Could there be a better way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon in Tokyo?

I guess we should just be thankful that Japan is even mentioned in a major US newspaper.

31 Oct: edited to correct spelling as neither blogger spell check nor I can spell.

Chatting with the neighbor lady

About 2 months ago, an elderly lady moved in with her family about two houses down from me. I knew something was different about her, because I always see her on the street in front of her house, greeting everyone who passes by. She always has a good morning, a good afternoon, or a good evening for me and sometimes gives me friendly advice, such as "Be careful walking by the intersection, it's very dangerous." She doesn't duck away or ignore me because I am not Japanese. This sort of thing isn't very common in Tokyo. In fact, I don't believe I have ever seen anyone else like her here.

This morning as I was coming home for an early lunch, I met her again, and exchanged good mornings. But today she stopped me, crossed the street to where I was, and began by apologizing for being out on the street so often. While I considered whether or not to forgive her, she did another very un-Tokyo-like thing and began talking to me as if I were something other than a Special Person from Afar. She wasn't using her grade school English nor her half-Japanese/half-katakana English, but rattling off in regular Japanese just throwing in an occasional "wakaru?"

I'll admit, I didn't catch 100% of everything that she said, but I learned that she was outside everyday walking up and down the street for exercise. She seemed a bit proud of how far she walked, pointing to the intersection with Kanpachi-dori 2 blocks away and the one in the other direction about 1/2 a block away. In fact, she showed me 3 times.

She was ill, she said, with a bad heart, but she (perhaps un-Tokyo-like) enjoyed exercise. She had done a lot of sports when she was in school, and especially loved running. Now she was walking up and down the street to get well again.

A few minutes into the conversation, she mentioned that she was 86 years old and from Hiroshima. She had been there when the bomb was dropped killing 6 of the 9 people in her family, who as I understood it were sake brewers. Only she, her mother, and her younger sister survived. "The war was terrible for Japan," she said, and I did not disagree.

"Where is your family from," she asked. "The US," I replied. After inquiring about my age, she assured me that I was too young to remember the war. "I am 86 years old," she said.

"After the bomb [how long after I did not get] we moved to Tokyo." "Six people in my family died, and only 3 lived." "The war was terrible." "My son now teaches at Keio. Do you know Keio?"

"Yes..."

"It's a university.... I am 86 years old.... I became sick with a bad heart, so I come out here everyday for exercise. I liked to run when I was young... It's not good that I come out dressed in a robe. I'm sorry."

"Well, you'd better go, it's getting cold. I'm sorry for bothering you. Be careful of the intersection, it's dangerous."

I always remember (and value) when these types of things happen in Japan, since they are so very, very, rare. And it's almost always old people.

I wish I had brought a recorder...

Of course, I could not remember or write everything we discussed. We talked for 10-15 minutes...a record for me in this sort of encounter.

Window cleaning, Jiyugaoka. Gotta say that this year there is no doubt that fall has really arrived. Now if only tree leaves changed colors before late November/early December...

Thank you for your service. Now bugger off.

Ahhh. Saturday night. A full moon. Cool, fall weather (only available in Japan). The OWWISAM (The One with Whom I Share a Mansion) in her room watching YouTube continuing a nearly 4-month war of silence. And me, having not had the sense to accept an invitation to take a trip to an onsen in Abiko, now sitting around reading the news on the Internet. Who ever said life in Tokyo was not exotic?

While not reading about things Japan, I sometimes---actually usually---read things about other weird, unscrupulous places such as the US. Really, the US is actually harder to understand than Japan even though I was born and raised there.

Reading Bob Herbert's latest column, The Way We Treat Our Troops, almost makes a wasted Saturday night worth it:

...for evidence that the United States is letting its claim to greatness, and even common decency, slip through its fingers, all you need to do is look at the way we treat our own troops...The idea that the United States is at war and hardly any of its citizens are paying attention to the terrible burden being shouldered by its men and women in uniform is beyond appalling.

...I would bring back the draft in a heartbeat. Then you wouldn’t have these wars that last a lifetime...(Careful Bob, that is gettin' mighty close to being unAmerican.) NYT

Unfortunately for Mr. Herbert and the US, this will never, ever change. Not only do we not pay for our wars---well, not right away instead we borrow from other countries---we make sure that mostly poor and lower middle class fight them while sloganeering "Support Our Troops," then assume them to be dangerous crazed nuts (and make movies and all kinds of "documentaries") when they get back.

It has become fashionable since the wars began 10 years ago to tell any veteran, "Thank you for your service." I have heard that---or actually read it in e-mails and on Facebook etc, since no American in Japan ever said it to me---but I never know how to respond. I am sure people are sincere in saying it, but I have no idea what it really means.

I once applied for a part-time job back in the US after getting out of the USAF and starting college. The fine patriot read my application saw my military service and asked, " You're not in the National Guard or anything are you?"

"No," I replied.

"Good," said the worm, "We don't need any of that shit (meaning he did not want to have to give time off for annual drills etc)*.

I would almost bet that he is now all supportive of the folks fighting in Afghanistan, as long as they stay in Afghanistan or at least not bother him with any of that military "shit."

*I did not take the job.

Blogger spell check does not accept Facebook as a properly spelled word.

Only in Japan

Tidbits

from conversations this week:

"I'm worried that foreigners will think Japan was wrong (on Senkaku) because we gave in to China."

"I think Ozawa, Hatoyama, and Kan are terrible. They gave in to China. We need to show the world Japan's 'will.'" (Discussing Senkaku).

"If China had done that to the US, I think there would have been a war." (Senkaku dispute.)

"I think there should be mandatory military service in Japan to bring patriotism to the young." (US born, LDP supporter. Very "patriotic" who admires the US. Unfortunately, he has an often simplistic or outright wrong view of the US. Decent guy, not a nut. I would say he is simply politically conservative.)

"All Americans have to go in the military if there is a war."

"America is very important for world peace" A reply to my statement of fact that the US cannot continue funding it's current contribution to "world peace" via the military. Time for the "peace country" to show us how it is done?

"We Japanese promised the world we would have no more wars." Same conversation as above. (Was that the US written article 9 he was referring to?) Bottom line: the US is forever supposed to "protect" Japan.

"We shouldn't have to go in the military because we would lose time for learning job skills and foreign languages." (Perhaps Japanese are just as ignorant about the military as Americans. I suppose the lack of opportunity to learn a foreign language is more accurate for the SDF, but folks who work on F-16s might just have a few skills. They surely as hell have more marketable and practical skills than some goofball who majored in such things as Asian Studies).

Gee, nothing totally insane this week. Just enough to reinforce my opinion that most Japanese whom I know---nah, in general---haven't the slightest clue of what the US is or is not.* And little attention is paid to possible repercussions of Japan showing it's "will" or saying "no." Just the mere act of Japan doing so, will somehow impress the hell out of the rest of the world, and Japan will then...ummmmm...what? Win?

Several years ago there was a CM on TV with a popular comedian---I forget his name, but one of a pair who often appear on TV---who was at a meeting full of non-Japanese. He was in some disagreement with them and stood up and shouted in English "No!" The foreigners were taken aback that this Japanese fellow could say "no." A common fantasy that goes no further, it seems.

The US media does a terrible job covering Japan. The Japanese media is little better as far as the US is concerned. I am often amused by folks who claim that Japanese know much more about the US than Americans (US) do about Japan. Yes, people may be familiar with the names of all of the states, some US history (The One with Whom I Share a Mansion is extremely knowledgeable about US history and was even before she attended a US university. She is a rare case though), but as the unquestioning acceptance of Fujiwara Masahiko's book of pure horsepooky proved, most haven't a clue.

What a slow week. It might improve tomorrow as I go drinking with The Oz Lady.

*after nearly 11 years here, neither do I.

1600: Edited to add a few more that I remembered.

Six years and this is my most popular post?

My Yes Man, Males Escorts, and the English Conversation Club.

I still get 10-15 or more visits to that post every single day, 3 years after I wrote it as more or less a joke. I am sorry.

I am sorry to say that guys hoping to come to Japan and make a million yen being a male escort/English conversation host might just make a million yen should such a job exist. Of course, you will starve on a million yen too.

Those golden years are over. Forget it. The odds of getting women to pay you large globs of money to do nothing other than chat them up in English and then take them to a love hotel for a bit of fun is about a gazillion to one. Were it possible, I would have tried it myself.*

Ain't gonna happen now, if it ever did. And really, look in the mirror and ask yourself why any woman would pay you for that. Would women where you are from pay you just to chat and bed them? If yes, take a shot. If not, gomen ne...

Should I be wrong, please put me in contact with one of those establishments.

Sept 25: I have learned that there are some bars call b*tl*r bars where one might find employment as a host, though I am not so sure that foreign men who don't speak Japanese could work there. And I hear they wouldn't want to even if they could.

*The One With Whom I Share a Mansion probably would not have objected much back in the day had I got "big money" for it. Now she would probably try to sell me to such a place for about ¥300.

日本茶党, birthers, and the Oz Lady.

Yes, 茶党, not 茶道*。

And here I thought the Tea Party and the Birthers were some sort of "Only in America" thing. But on the day of PM Kan's victory over Ozawa, I was chatting with my old friend and ex-tutor whom I shall refer to as the Oz Lady as that fits both her name and her interesting ideas.

Claiming to speak no English--which, of course is not exactly true but very close in her case---she only knows what she reads in Japanese---or hears via the rumor mill. She has some strong political opinions, many of which have to do with the threat of foreigners to Japan. She once asked me about non-citizens' ability to vote in the US (the US is only standard that counts) before going into a mini-rant about the DPJs proposal to let non-citizens vote in local elections. (Her teaching experiences have not reduced her fear of foreigners although she does not dislike non-Japanese people---only the abstract idea of resident foreigners plotting to harm Japan). She has expressed concern about the rightwing's claim that the US would not defend Japan in case of attack, but would somehow instantly pull its troops out and abandon the country in the midst of it all. She also wants a strong Japan that can say no to any country without any repercussions. Naturally, China is a huge threat to Japan, as are those hidden "panda-huggers" in the Japanese government who are handing the country to China.

You would never know or suspect her true beliefs if you did not know her quite well. She seems like a somewhat typical mid-30s gal from the hills of Nagano who is not a member of the college educated white collar workforce. This is what makes her interesting---more interesting in a way than many of the folks I speak with. I like to believe her thoughts represent a different group, although they may only represent her.

In a discussion of the Kan/Ozawa contest, she seemed pleased when I told her that Kan had won. Then she asked me about US politics and if a naturalized US citizen could become president. When I said no, she asked about members of Congress. Naively believing she was actually interested in US politics, I went into an overly detailed answer to a question that she cared not a whit about anyway. It turns out that she was only asking about the US so that she could establish where Japan stood in relation to The Gold Standard of the Universe.

She let me in on a secret. Neither Kan nor Ozawa are Japanese! It seems both are naturalized Japanese citizens with Kan being Korean and Ozawa being Chinese (or visa versa, I was so surprised to hear her say this, I forget which is which). Not only did she say that with a straight face, she was obviously angry about it. Either would sell the country to China, she said, without explaining why a Korean would do so.

We soon moved on in our chat, but I must say that I was disappointed after our conversation. Extreme goofiness is neither an Only in America phenomenon nor something uniquely Japanese.

Anyway, I am still trying to absorb the fact that several years ago she looked at me with her "black eyes" and informed me that I have red hair. All my life, people had lied to me and said it was brown. How could a southern barbarian have anything but red hair?

This is meant not to disparage her. She just gets some interesting ideas from somewhere. I grew up with folks like her...

*Humor, or what must pass for it. 茶道 generally means tea ceremony (the way of tea), but 茶党 would mean Tea Party if it were a real word.

The continuing education of a wannabe well-mannered man

This morning I decided to get out of my environmentally friendly mansion (I learned we folk in Japan have these by reading the comments on Paul Krugman's recent NYT op-ed) on a cool crisp late summer day expected to only reach 34 centigrade.

As I tried to enter the gate at upscale Denenchofu station, a lady exited by aiming right for the gate I was nearing even though we were the only two people there, and she could have easily taken a closer gate. I, still having a bit of barbarous, uncouth USA manners, yielded to let her rush through the gate first.

I hopped on the front car of an Ebisu-bound train and seeing as how the seats were mostly full except for a few spots which were half taken by folk who seemed very reluctant to share (but still of impeccable good-manners) I went to the head of the car where I could watch out the front---a popular spot for young children and elderly men with runny noses.

Soon enough, grandpa joined me and began repeatedly sniffling and a few moments later let fly two full-bore, open-mouthed, ear-drum splitting sneezes. Despite his concern for others and beautiful country good manners, I for some odd-ball reason (remnants of memories of my mother or teachers knocking me upside the head for such refinement), found myself moving to the opposite end of the car. He had put his hand somewhat in the vicinity of the front of his buffalo mouth, after all. Seems that I have not yet developed a tolerance for inhaling the mucous and spittle of others if I can avoid it.

I got to Ebisu and went to Ebisu Garden Place to relax a bit, look for good light and something interesting to photograph. Finding little, I soon gave up and decided to enter a new Starbucks there to have a cup of liquid charcoal and a synthetic sugar donut. Soon 3 fellows who were apparently working this fine Sunday entered and sat at the counter across from my table. One fellow, a gentleman in his late 40s/early 50s with the jet black hair of a 5-year old, sat right at the corner and placed his already chair-shaped bum on the edge of his seat while scooting the unused portion of his chair out into everyone's way. People would have to squeeze sideways to get by our wig wearing or at least hair-painting fellow to enter or exit.

I admired this fellow. Three or four people squeezed by him with obvious difficulty, but even though he glanced back, he made no effort to move his seat one cm forward. Finally, a lady with a baby carriage had to exit and she started moving the chair at my table to the right to get by. Being an ill-manner foreigner, I rudely helped her and then moved my whole table so that she could exit. Lard ass with the painted hair or wig looked at me. Being a lout, I glared at him. Apparently not realizing that I was a dangerous violence-prone foreigner, he responded by simply turning back to his chat with his fellow Very Important People. His chair remained where it was.

Soon I left to return home. At Ebisu station I walked to the end of the platform so I would have less of a chance of having to pull a Three Stooges rush for the door. As the trained arrived, I was pleased to find that my Charisma Man persona attracted two women who could not resist getting close to me and decided to rush for the same door I was entering, despite the fact that we were the only three entering that car which (as I recall) had 5 doors. Damn. I've still got it.

I chose to stand next to the door even though there was plenty of room to sit. Sitting might have made someone uncomfortable or reluctant to sit next to me due to my propensity to chat up strangers in English, or my objectionable body odor. Since these defects rarely pose problems for anyone who wants to stand two inches from the end of my nose on a train, standing seemed the polite thing to do.

I was soon distracted by the ad about "Why men want sex" and "Women need love" and became a bit lost in the thought that such a thing may actually be simplistic horse-pooky, but not distracted enough to miss the tie-less Western guy in a suit playing with what looked like an iPhone while pushing his left index finger knuckle deep in his left nostril. Eeewww, thought I. Only non-Japanese would do such a thing. Never have I seen a native Tokyoite do it....oh, well "never" meaning within the last week.

Finally, I reached Denenchofu station got off and entered Precce, the supermarket for people with more money than brains, looked around and rediscovered that they have not had a new item since the Jurrassic before deciding to walk the 10 minutes to Yukigayaotsuka Tokyu to get something for lunch.

Ten minutes sweaty minutes later, I entered Tokyu. Now Tokyu owns Precce, but sells the exact same products at about 20-30% lower prices. The clerks don't put every single item in separate vinyl bags---including candy bars---and they don't bow and say "welcome" before checking you out, and they don't ask you 900 stupid questions every single time, but they are much faster than those at Precce. But that's why Tokyu is less expensive. The service is "less."

After getting my curry mix, an avocado, and a drink, I went to the register. Amazingly, a young fellow---not a woman---was manning it. I remembered that fellow. I remembered him from a few weeks ago, not only because he was a rare male in that job, but because he....uhhh, how can I put this?...stank. No, Stank with a capital S. Whew!!! I could smell him 4-5 feet away. I should have moved to another register, but the lines were too long and I was next. I tried to hold my breath. Whoa. Was he foreign, I wondered, for I have heard and read----from no less an authority than the New York Times Magazine---that Japanese have almost no body odor. I have even heard more than a few Japanese say that when comparing themselves with non-Japanese. That's one reason, in spite of their being extremely polite, some people are reluctant to sit next to a foul-smelling thing such as me on the train. Standing next to me is, as mentioned, ok. Hmmm. Maybe Precce adds the surcharge-for-morons so that its clerks can afford to bathe and use deodorant. Or, maybe they only hire real next-to-no-body-odor Japanese.

I returned to my environmentally friendly (because I reduce energy usage as much as possible to avoid the high costs) mansion with no insulation, absurdly inefficient air-conditioning and heating, with hollow plastic interior doors and a "Western" bedroom that one cannot put a twin-sized or bigger "Western" bed in 'cause a doofus designed the hallway and entrance. I environmentally-friendlily microwaved my lunch (like I have choice) and sat down with a Asahi "The Master" Philsner and wondered what will happen when I return to the rude, crude, straight-talking, debating, Neanderthal-ic USA with my refined good manners. People will admire and love me, I'm sure. Tyler Bru^le'! would appreciate it if nobody else.

Blogger spell check does not accept "donut" as a real, properly spelled word.

I reserve the right to tweak this a bit over the next few hours. My editor is me, and he is slow, lazy, cannot spell, or properly proofread unless he is being paid to do so. Plus, I follow the Japan w/o Sugar style-guide which supersedes other rules.

Nearly every time I check this blog I find posts that I wonder if I have somehow written. It's full of observations about Tokyo things that I thought only I noticed. Perhaps I am not entirely crazy after all. Or perhaps I am not the only one who is.

Tokyo rain etiquette. In addition to her comments, I enjoy the way that folks will stop in front of any exit---subway, shop---and block everyone else while they leisurely open their umbrella (after removing it from the vinyl umbrella wrap) before stepping out into the rain as if a single drop on an unprotected noggin would be fatal. And mama-chari-ists swerving into a pedestrian's path to avoid a .0001mm puddle? Hell , some will swerve directly into the path of another on a road bike at speed risking serious or fatal injury to avoid a wet tire. Oh, the stories that I could tell....

Language study, Japanese style

Kinda. Designed for those studying "business English" (what is that?), this from the Japanese language WSJ can be used to study/improve Japanese too. Especially things like "shied away from" (に)尻込みした which would keep one from translating it as meaning ass packed in the same way that 単細胞 (tansaibou) simple-minded has been translated as meaning monocellular organism.

Blogger spell check does not recognize the word "mistranslate." It does accept mistranslated, mistranslates, and mistranslation as correct.

The (only) land of four seasons

Ahhh. September has arrived. Soon we will be enjoying autumn with its cool, crisp nights (in Tokyo? Are you insane?) and mild, warm days. The less sensitive were unable to discern the beginning of the change in seasons today, 'cause after the hottest August since 1946, it was just another 34+ degree day in Tokyo.

Unlike me, some have sense enough to avoid the sun.

Weirdo Japan, part 120 million

First read this post:

News of the Weird phenomenon is when we easily dismiss bizarre incidents from our own society, because we know they originated in a minor subculture, were committed by people with some kind of problem, were done by a marginalized group such as “rednecks” or criminals or fringe political elements, etc. However, we don’t have the same insider knowledge about “weird news” from most other cultures. As a result, when we read something sensational or peculiar, our attempts to practice cultural relativism kick into overdrive and we may accept the item as representative rather than anomalous....Talk to the Clouds

then watch this.



Or visa versa.

And I am joining the evil MSM in posting this. You can bet that some people overseas will see this and believe it to be true about Japan in the same way that some people here will read Fujiwara's The Dignity of the Nation and other nonsense and believe it has something to say about the US or other foreign countries.

Correct. I've nothing better to do...

Apologies to Our Man for using something from R. Murdoch's company. Blame Twitter.