I can see clearly now

The rain had gone over the weekend. Having nothing useful to do, I walked up celebrity hill behind Denenchofu station, to see the now rapidly falling blossoms.

Oh look, folks on bikes. The guy is even on a road bike. Great, I have always loved road bikes, riding several thousand miles every year for about the last fifteen.

Last year, just after a couple of Japanese riders placed well in the Tour de France, I worried that the sport would become a popular fad and that people would bring their mama-chari "skills" to road bikes at higher speeds. I was right.

But that is a story to be continued later. For now I will just say that one cannot count on any realistic attempts to deal with the root of this problem---negligence, ignoring traffic devices, rules and laws (even the koban sitters ignore them when out of the koban on their police-charis), lack of awareness of surroundings, and lack of concern for others, lack of anticipation, lack of cycling skills, and a general incompetence on a bicycle. I have recently developed an actual dread before a ride.

Most "serious" cyclists, native and not, know to avoid the Tamagawa cycling path, at least until about 20 miles out from Futako-tamagawa. It has become deadly dangerous (some would say it always has been). So dangerous---including fatal accidents---that the authorities have decided to take action. Simple-minded, mostly ineffective action, but action nonetheless.

By the way, what would happen if a speeding car came around the curve ahead of these cyclists? Are they prepared? What side of the road are the helmet-less, glove-less riders on? (They should both be to the left---toward the camera here since we drive on the left in Japan.)

Performance

In honor of Yukiya Arashiro and Fumiyuki Beppu, the first two Japanese to finish the Tour de France. And they didn't even use mama-chari tactics:



Perhaps to really get the satire you need to be a "Serious Cyclist." Or maybe at least know a few.

Is the Mama-chari thing not uniquely Japanese either?

I don't really know why myself, but I sometimes make fun of mamachari-ists. It could be because I think that they are a danger to society and themselves and that many---a majority? most? 99.9999%?---are criminally negligent idiots on wheels (includes the koban-sitting crowd when they transfer their asses from koban seats to official police mama-chali seat) who don't seem to care the slightest if they kill or injure themselves, old ladies, old men, children, or kittens and puppies.

Is it just the number of mama-chari-bakas that I run into (literally sometimes) in Tokyo that make them seem so exceptionally dangerous? Or is it something brought on by riding one of those mild-steel, heavy clunkers with poor brakes and battleship handling? While reading an article about the Bike Snob in the NYT, I saw this quote:

“In a certain way the Dutch city bike* is the SUV of bicycles,” the Snob wrote. “It’s a little too big, it creates the illusion of safety, and nobody pays any attention when they’re operating one.”

Damn. Is there nothing uniquely unique about this country?

*The classic mama-chari as it is known in Europe and now, the US.










(Above) Made by the Dutch Bicycle Company the "conference bike", with luck, should make its way to Japan sooner or later. Excellent for forced group-think. Image from here.


Actually, I think Australia is more uniquely unique if this video is accurate:


(Youtube via Bike Snob.)

Is my Colleague from Down Under in that? J? Was that you when you had real hair?

Walk before you can ride: The professional Mamachari-ist part 2 (continued from 2008)

Warning! The photo at left is an example only: As attractive as it is, this mamachari is not properly set up for riding. The seat is much too high, there is air in the rear tire, and the wheels appear to be roughly true.

It's been quite a long time since I wrote anything about one of my favorite hobbies---road biking---but recent events have made it necessary for me to do so again.

First and foremost, there is the great news that the law has changed to allow mothers to carry 2 children on their hi-quality (Made in Japan! Maybe...) mamachari bicycles which have outstanding brakes and safety equipment. There are probably some troublesome cynics around who would say something like: "What's the difference? They ignored the law and rode them before anyway." Pay no attention to such nitpickers.

Second, two Japanese riders may participate in the Tour de France this year: Fukiya Arashiro and Fumiyaki Beppu who previously rode for the Discovery team, although not in the Tour de France.* I have not seen confirmation yet, but if so, it will be quite an achievement. Anyone who learned to ride a bike in mamachari-land would have to unlearn every single thing that they learned in order to ride a road bike safely anywhere---especially in competition. The mere fact that anyone survived a bike ride in Tokyo is cause for celebration.

Third, road bikes are becoming more popular in Tokyo as some are switching to them for weekday commutes to work instead of taking the wonderful Tokyo subway system---can't figure out why. Plus, more and more books and magazines are being published about cycling. I was so happy to see a couple of books about cycling along the Tamagawa published recently---more cyclists on road bikes with mamachari skills!!! Encountering one of these folks provides me with excellent workouts as my heart rate jumps 300%--way above a training heart-rate zone of 5c into zone 100z. Cardiovascular fitness by terror---little physical effort required!

A little over a year ago, I posted about how to purchase and prepare your own mamachari. I had planned to do another post about how to ride one, but never got to it. I mean, how is a guy who cannot figure out how to walk down the sidewalk without being pushed, shoved, run into, stepped on, forced into the busy road, and such gonna be able to tell anyone how to ride a bike?

Well, I don't ride a mamachari---I'm not skilled enough---but I do ride 4000-5000 miles** per year and have seen enough mamachari riders and observed their expertise, skills, good-manners, safe-riding habits, and concern for others to be able to give some advice. But before you can ride, you gotta know how to walk.

Again, I have to emphasize that I am unable to walk properly in Tokyo. I can't even figure out how to cross a marked crosswalk without risking instant death. But I have observed how the assimilated do it. So if you can answer yes to the following questions, you will be ready to embark on the challenging path to becoming a professional mamachari rider.

• Do you walk down the middle of crowded streets while playing with your cell phone and not bother with a single glance of where you are going?

• Do you routinely run into other people and pretend that you didn't?

• If you are a very short, grouchy old man, do you elbow people who irritate you by their mere existence?

• If you are a young woman, are you able to sound like a galloping horse with a lame foot as you run at a snail's pace to the station in your absurd high heels?

• Do you walk slower than a dead turtle when approaching an intersection with a green crossing light and then, just when it starts flashing just before turning red, take off like a bat-out-of-hell, running into anyone and everyone in your way so that you can rush into the intersection just as the light turns red?

• Do you walk down the middle of the sidewalk in order to cause as much trouble as possible for other pedestrians trying to get by you in either direction?

• Do you pick up your snail-pace into a mad, insane rush when you see an empty seat on the train while trampling little old ladies with canes to get to it?

• Do you rush, elbow, kick, bite, shove, and fart to be the first out of a train and then, as soon as you're out, slow down and block the exit and platform for everyone else?

• Do you wait until the last possible second before collision (or later) with another person before yielding a single millimeter of your sidewalk?

• Do you lack any sense of anticipation or danger? Are you entirely unaware of your surroundings?

• Do you rush just to get in front of others even though you are in no hurry and intend on slowing down to your basic 148 year-old peg-legged grand pappy pace just so you can be first?

• Do you stop to answer your phone or check your e-mail at the narrowest part of the sidewalk thus causing as much inconvenience for everyone else as possible?

• Do you avoid walking in a straight, predictable line like the plague, but instead do a random side-to-side wobble while running into other folks or forcing them into ditches or active streets whenever possible?

• Are you an idiot, or can you at least do a good imitation of one?

• Oops. Forgot a vital skill: If with others, do all of you spread out to take up every square millimeter of the road, sidewalk, or football field?
  

Answer yes to most or all? Perfect. You already have many of the basic skills needed. If not, don't worry. You can perfect the skills you lack while wobbling your new junkpile mamachari down the street or sidewalk. This is not a complete list, of course, but it should be enough to get anyone started.

I hope to have the mamachari riding tips ready in time for the first few days of the Tour which begins Saturday. Should one need to read up on proper bike selection and set up, see Assimilation in Tokyo: The Mama Chari.

*July 3 update: Both will start: Beppu for Skil-Shimano and Ashiro for BBOX Bouygues Telecom.

**Not hard to do. An annual average of 350-400 miles per month on rural roads and along the Tama River, five hours per week or so will do it. The hard part is training properly and avoiding accidents.

Beware of cod sperm and enchanted backpackers

Another backpacking journalist on a quick jaunt through Japan (to cover cycling) has discovered the total weirdness of the land. Part one is here, and we are threatened with---I mean promised---more to come.

Japan on the other hand is far from business as usual, and I have been experiencing all sorts of new things here, from food to transportation to toilet technology, it has been an eye opening experience for sure. Next time though, I am going to make sure I get an adequate description of each food item before chowing down, so I can avoid eating things like Shirako, which, it turn out, is boiled cod sperm and is considered delicacy in Japan.

Although this delicacy is one I have not heard of, I will try to avoid cod sperm in the future, as it must be so common here. Sorta like the sea urchin rectums that TIME (comedy) magazine wrote about in the 80s. The article is from Velonews.

More corruption or just a big misunderstanding? If it involves the Olympics, I personally wouldn't be very shocked at corruption. Since this involves cycling (keirin, a type of track cycling which is as much of a gambling event as a sport) and Japan it may be of interest...

The BBC reported on its website that it possesses documents which "reveal a series of substantial payments to the UCI, which began just two months after the keirin was accepted into the Olympics in December 1996.”

The report, which was denied by a top Japanese official, claims that $3 million was "paid by organizers of a Japanese cycling event to the UCI - the world cycling body.” From VeloNews.

It involves UCI too? Oh, I'm shocked! Even if it's not true, it seems so likely that it should be.

1203PM The UCI strongly denies all of this.

Assimilation in Tokyo: The Mama Chari

In order to live comfortably in a foreign country one has to adapt. Japan is no different even though non-Japanese can never understand Japan. Still, when in Rome...

I hope to cover some aspects of life in Tokyo that I rarely see discussed anywhere beginning with how to ride a mama-chari like a Tokyoite:

One of the most common means of transportation in Tokyo is the bicycle. Two types are very common: the mama-chari (heavy, slow handling, clunker) and the imitation "mountain bike." We will look at the mama-chari with the understanding that the fake mountain bike can be utilized in nearly the same way.

Let's look at purchasing your mama-chari and setting it up like a true Tokyo-ko:

Purchase. Something to keep in mind is that although these things can be found anywhere, it is always best to get a good brand-name. The fake mountain bikes are available with many famous brand-name decals on them. You can choose from the standard Giant, or such exotic types as Levi or maybe even Frito-Lay. For the mama-charli your choices are fewer, but Tokyu department stores sell their high quality brand and I have seen a genuine Burberry sold in a Burberry shop. Go for one of these babies because you know that a heavy low-grade steel bike with a famous name stuck on it at a higher price has to be good. Be sure and ask the salesperson detailed questions about the bike and cycling in general as you can be sure that they know what they are talking about. After all, why else would they be selling them?

Set-up. The first step after you get your finely crafted, high quality machine home is to set it up properly. If you have ever ridden a bicycle of any type, now is the time to forget everything that you learned.

1. Let's begin with the seat. The very first thing you must remember is that the seat can never be too low. You should at least be able to plant both feet firmly on the ground while sitting on the wide, pillowy saddle. In fact, if your rear could drag the ground while riding, it would be nearly perfect.
When pedaling, your knees should come up to about your chin---be careful and don't knee your nose! From the side, a properly positioned cyclist should look something like a person on a squat toilet.

2. Tires & Wheels. Let's prepare our tires next. You may find that the shop where you bought it has filled the tires with air. This is for shipping purposes only. You will find a valve on the round steel things that the tires are attached to. (Bummer if yours are aluminum. These should be avoided as they can cause stopping when brakes are applied.) Remove the cap and press on the valve. Let most of the air out. Your tires should be at minimum 50% flat when you are riding it. The wheels themselves should be properly dished. This is more accurately referred to as "tacoed." If yours are not, remove them from the bike and loosen some spokes on one side or the other. Then either run over each wheel with your car or jump up and down on them until they assume the approximate shape of a taco shell. These steps will make it easier for you to wobble from left to right.

3. Brakes. The pads should be a well-aged hard rubber. When applied, they should make a loud squealing sound. Make sure, however, that they cannot lock the wheels no matter how hard the brakes are applied. Your feet are your main braking source. Brakes are for irritating and scaring pedestrians so that they will get out of your way.

4. Bike bell. This is a required item. They vary in size, but look something like the bells used in boxing. The difference is that there is a little thumb thingy for you to clang the bell with. This, along with the squealing brakes, helps assure that you as a mama-chari rider get the proper respect from those who interfere with your god-given right to the sidewalk.

5. Lights. Legally required for riding after dark. Don't worry much about these as you don't want to be the only fool using them. Remember, the nail that sticks up gets banged down.

6. Handle bar. You probably won't need to adjust this as long as you can comfortably rest on it while reading your e-mail, playing video games, reading your book or newspaper and those other things you may do to keep your mind occupied while riding. Some folks use baskets on the front to help make them even more comfortable as they can then rest almost the entire arm from elbow to wrist on something. Remember, using these are optional. The cool stud and police officers can show their mama-chari riding skills and all-around manliness by riding with one or no hands in crowded areas. Since you will likely be riding while doing other things with your hands, handlebars are of limited use.

7. Mirrors. Very important. Adjust these so that you can look at and admire yourself as you ride. Can be valuable for women to use for applying make-up while riding. Can also assist in properly picking one's nose. WARNING! Do not improperly adjust these so that you could see someone approaching from behind. This could result in such bad habits as awareness of surroundings and anticipation of danger. These types of mama-chari riding errors will be covered later in part two: Riding your mama-chari.

Annual Cycling Editorial

Oh. Rant, I mean.

I believe I missed it last year, so I will start early this year. The media usually starts in about June expressing shock and dismay that most cyclists in Japan ignore the law and wobble about negligently, recklessly, idiotically, and as one put it "with no sense of anticipation."

Last year, the police---who often are prime examples of the negligent, reckless, and idiotic cyclist---proposed forcing all cyclists onto the sidewalk. One of the English language newspapers, either the Japan Times or the Asahi Shimbun, worried that if that happened, cyclists would think they owned the sidewalks. Don't they already think that?

This year, they are thinking of getting cyclists off the sidewalk; stopping them from holding umbrellas in one hand (often directly in front of their face so that they cannot see a thing beyond their front tire); prohibiting the extremely common use of cell phones while riding and other dangerous riding behavior.

I ride my road bike a lot. I have averaged 4,500 to 5,000 miles per year over the last 5-6 years. Most of this is along the Tamagawa, but some of it on roads. Frankly, the problem is that most mama-chari riders (and many road bike riders) don't appear to have any awareness of their surroundings, no sense of anticipation, no sense of danger, and often a total disregard of anyone or anything else. Most would seem to prefer to run into someone else and seriously injure or kill themselves and the other person rather than to take any action which would be "troublesome." You know, applying the brakes, staying in the correct lane, taking evasive action to avoid a collision, or even watching where they are going. Lest one think that only Japanese do this, I have seen plenty on non-Japanese adopt this sort of head-up-the-ass riding behavior. What non-Japanese often don't know is that many cycling violations are not traffic violations, but violations of criminal law (according to an article from a few years ago by the head of, if memory serves, the Japan Cycling Association). And you DON'T want to be arrested for a crime in Japan.

I have mixed feelings about this newest idea. I won't ride on the sidewalk unless I have no other choice, and then only for as short of a distance as possible. Too dangerous. I hate walking down the sidewalk with some wobbling fool reading his/her e-mail and clanging that damned bell ordering everyone out of the way. My wife refuses to budge for them. She has more balls that I do. They'll run you down and kill you---as some woman did to an elderly lady a few weeks ago. That woman is likely to spend some time in the pokey.

One the other had, if these mama-chari riders are forced onto the road and they don't change their behavior, natural selection will deal with many. That's the way the cookie crumbles, but then I will have to deal with them too when I am riding on the road. They are extremely dangerous to approach or pass no matter where they are. EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. One cannot trust them or take his/her eyes off them for a split second. Did I say that these wobbling, reckless, negligent riders are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS? I am perhaps understating it a bit. They will kill you and themselves in a heartbeat. BEWARE!

Last year a politician wrote an editorial in one of the newspapers suggesting that an education and licensing system for cyclists was an answer. He thought that the reason that cyclists were so lacking in safe riding practices is because most Japanese don't learn to drive and therefore have no real sense of the rules or dangers of the road.

Whatever the reason, a license isn't going to help anytime soon. Despite some suggestions, most places aren't going to have cycling paths either and even if they did, they'd become an extra sidewalk for absent-minded pedestrians and another parking space for cars. (One of the most dangerous places to ride along the Tamagawa is a short section in which the cycling path is separated from the pedestrian path by a line. There you have cyclists on the pedestrian path and pedestrians on the cycling path. As soon as they approach one another, they each try to get into the correct path, resulting in "confusion.")

I have no idea on how to reduce the dangers here. It would require a whole new approach to more than just cycling. People are riding a bike in the same way that people walk---without watching where they are going, without awareness of where they are, without awareness of what they are doing, without any rules of where to walk (the right or left side) and without concern about running into someone else. Plus, the rule is go as slow as a dead 3-legged turtle in molasses in mid-January unless you see someone else heading toward the same spot as you. Then run like a bat out of hell just to get in front, and then slow down and block the way. Just like folks ride bikes.

Danger along the Tama River

One of the most dangerous things one can do in Japan is to ride a bicycle. In an earlier post I mentioned some of the dangers as examples of why. To be blunt, people simply do not watch where they are going. They focus on the front wheel of their bike or will ride while looking to the side or behind themselves while utter disregard for their own safety or that of others. If they do see a danger, they are very reluctant to take any action to avoid it or to even use their brakes. Generally, they will continue on their way and it is up to you to avoid it. (I quit riding on Sundays because of the number of unbelievable accidents I saw, most of which were due to pure negligence.)

In May I was hit by some old guy who came flying down a hill out of control. He looked right at me---stared in fact---and headed out of his lane directly toward me. He made absolutely no effort to slow down or stop, but had a look of total panic (and profound idiocy) on his face. I was barely able to avoid a head on, but he still hit me hard enough to badly bruise my shoulder. He kept on going, until---very un-Japanese like---I started cussing him in both English and what I could think of in Japanese. He stopped, came back and gave me the standard phony apology. There was nothing I could do so I dropped it.

Yesterday, I was coming around a blind curve, and knowing the special dangers in Japan, I slowed way down. Sure enough as soon as I turned the corner there was a poser in his full cycling gear and a nice road bike on the wrong side of the road directly in front of me. He did slow down and utter a "gomen" and move out of the way after I had stopped to avoid a collision. This marked him as different than the average cyclist or pedestrian.

I think a lot of this, especially the habit of pedestrians to blindly walk around and carelessly block entire roads or walk directly into the path of others after they have seen and are aware of them, to be an example of the passive-aggressive characteristics which one observes here. "I may be slow, lazy and weak, but you are gonna have to act that way too. I will control what you do."

The Tama River between Tokyo prefecture and Kawasaki prefecture.

Bike path along the Tama River-a bit narrower here than most parts.

Cycling "Hills" in Tokyo

One of the basic requirements for most competitive cyclists is the ability to climb well. Naturally, to train for that, one needs hills. Unfortunately, those are in very short supply in my area. So I end up finding the steepest and longest "hills" I can and climb them repeatedly at least once per week. Then, if I ever see a real hill during a ride, I will hopefully be able to climb it without embarrassing myself.

Today I spent about 45 minutes climbing 2 hills, one a short little bump of about 50 meters and maybe a 9% grade. The other was about 100 meters and lightly steeper. I would ride up one then ride down the other and go back up the opposite way. Sort of a wimpish workout even at maximum effort, but it is the best I can do in the area. At least I didn't have pedestrians and cyclists walking and running into me.

Cycling near Tokyo

Often when one reads of cycling in a foreign country, you get a wonderfully romanticized view of beautiful scenery, and kind, thoughtful, people. Well, that is in reality not likely to be anymore true than it is in your hometown.

I ride nearly every day along the Tama River which divides Tokyo and Kanagawa prefectures. I can get in a ride of over 70 miles, or do a quick 15. Weekends are difficult to ride as you get the path filled with your usual absentminded wanderers. I entirely quit riding on Sundays a few years ago because it became outright dangerous. During the week in the morning before work, I am able to ride and even get in training rides; sprints, intervals and time trials.

What are the problems then? Perhaps it is nothing unusual for riding in a huge city, but the absolute absentmindedness and carelessness of people is infuriating. It is very common to come close to a serious accident at least weekly because someone looks right at you and decides to cut directly in front of you anyway. After slamming on the brakes and making some comment to mister or misses numbskull, I get an apology about 10% of the time. (Yea, I know, you may have heard that the Japanese are ALWAYS apologizing. In reality they don't always do so, especially if there is a real fault on their part. And when they do, we must go along with the pretense that a simple apology makes it all OK).

The biggest danger, however is not really pedestrians (or autos), but is other cyclists riding "mama-charli," the old-fashioned cheap, heavy bikes that most people have here. Traffic laws apply to them, but those laws are rarely obeyed. People blow red lights, shoot thru crosswalks, jump from the sidewalk into the street without so much as a glance to check traffic. This is hard to believe until you see it. Apparently, if one doesn't look before doing something, he won't see any danger, and if he doesn't see danger, it either doesn't exist, or he isn't the one responsible for avoiding an accident. Just yesterday, when I was riding on the street going to Tama River, some old guy jumped off the sidewalk directly in front of me. Fortunately, there were no cars coming, so I could swerve right, but I came within a foot or so of hitting him at about 25 mph. (I had been watching him, as I knew he had that certain braindead look about him so I was prepared).

Often, in bright sunshine or in rain, you will see people riding with an umbrella. Sometimes, this is held directly in front of them so that they cannot possibly see farther than a foot ahead of their front tire. You'll also see about 50% plus of mamachali cyclists riding with semi-flat tires and the lack of control that leads to.

Those are just a few of the frustrations. Of course if you get in an accident because of the actions of someone, you are in for an even bigger surprise.....