Forget the flu, will vaccine work on the unique Japanese?

There are folks who are worried about the potential danger of swine flu this autumn. The US is predicting a 30-50% infection rate. With the crowded subways in Japan and the likelihood of many to go to work ill regardless of the consequences, the condemned might reasonably expect more. Achuuuu...AAAACCCCCHUUUUU!!!!!

I was concerned until my Colleague from Down Under explained how it was all bull and that we should believe it only "when a movie star, politician, or other famous person dies from it." I was relieved to hear that, especially since any already delayed vaccine would be further delayed until it tested safe for the supra-human Japanese body.

The Japanese government might not be able to import vaccine to combat the new type of influenza the H1N1 virus, or swine flu -- before autumn, when an epidemic of the disease is feared will intensify, as experts want pre-import confirmation that the vaccine is safe for Japanese patients, sources familiar with the matter said. The Hour

Years ago I received an e-mail asking if I was interested in participating in a testing program to determine the effects of certain medicines in the bakagaijin body as opposed to the Japanese. I somewhat unkindly turned down that thoughtful invitation to be a guinea pig in nihonjinron studies.

I know there can be some differences between certain groups of people as far as tendencies for some illnesses. I have heard a number of times---even from a pharmacist in Japan---that the gaijin body, always being bigger and apparently less-evolved, is less sensitive to medicine than a Japanese. (How do you determine a Japanese body? Is there a special Japanese DNA?)

So I find it a bit strange that when we were in the US and my wife would visit a doctor, dentist, or pharmacist, that they did not have a special Japanese-only medicine. As far as I know they used the same medicine as they did for normal humans. Must have been the change in diet.

Gubbermint's been too busy to worry about such things

"(Government officials have been) slow to react. They say the people have become lax (about swine flu) in recent months, but they have, too." Norio Sugaya, an infectious disease expert at Keiyo Hospital in Kanagawa.

Lax? I haven't read of the government doing much of anything to prepare, except advise people to gargle, wash hands and wear masks of which Sugaya says:

"The virus is not so mild that you can prevent it just by doing those things."

The place where I work part-time has taken action by sending out a 3-sentence memo back in May which basically said if you have symptoms of flu please refrain from coming to work. I replied and asked what we should do if we encounter clients who appear to be ill with flu-like symptoms. Wrong question. No official policy on that. Gambatte.

Flu Panic Spreads as North Korea sets off nuke

THE TIMES OF NEW YORK

Unmasked residents, eyes pixelated in fear,

flee across the street after an uncovered sneeze
was reported in a local eyeglass shop.

TOKYO--Panic spread out of control in Japan today as it was announced that the unpredictable leader of North Korea had set off a nuke just days after Iran got in the headlines by testing a new missile. To add to the nuke fears, a shortage of masks in Tokyo and as far away as Nagano prefecture has caused many to flee in hysteria at the slightest hint of a cough or sneeze. Government officials have been in meetings since the detonation to determine if these combined panics are necessary or not. Reports that the WHO is considering revising its pandemic alert levels to eliminate Level 6 "Pandemic" and go straight to a Level 7 "Kiss your ass goodbye" are adding to the chaos.

Many Monday commuters were seen holding their breath to avoid being infected by either Swine flu virus or radioactive fallout from the North Korean blast. Due to the shortage of anti-Swine flu masks, only one person in Tokyo was spotted wearing the life-saving item.

Millions flee a station exit
gasping for air in a blind panic
after holding their breath for the
duration of their commute.


By noon Monday, the outspoken but harmless nationalist, Governor Shintaro Ishihara was seen mounting a tank in preparation to lead a preemptive strike against dangerous, criminally-inclined, rioting non-Japanese and little old ladies.

UPDATE: Tokyo--Prime Minister Aso announced that the elections scheduled for later this summer were to be postponed indefinitely. "We cannot afford to play politics as long as there are nuclear weapons and viruses on the planet," Mr. Aso reluctantly stated.

In a separate and entirely unrelated development, the Tokyo prosecutor's office announced an investigation into the DPJ's new leader Yukio Hatoyama over past claims that Hatoyama had contacts in terrorist organizations. Prosecutors vigorously denied any political motives when it was pointed out that it was the LDP's Kunio Hatoyama who had made those claims about himself while Justice Minister, not Yukio Hatoyama. A spokesman said that the charges were very serious and that Yukio Hatoyama had to be impartially, but thoroughly investigated to make sure that he was not Kunio Hatoyama.

Visiting Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman said that the Bush administration was responsible for all these problems.

Ima Loony, head of the NPO "Ethics in Eikaiwa Chain Schools" and Oi Bakero of "Reporters with No Standards" contributed to this article from under a blue tarp along the Tama River.

Japan's crisis mode over, but do we panic or not?

TOKYO, May 22 (Reuters) - Japan relaxed rules for dealing with the new H1N1 flu on Friday, concerned that strict regulations could harm the economy and needlessly restrict the public, given that most of its nearly 300 cases have been mild.

Japan's plans were drafted with the deadly bird flu in mind, while studies show the new swine flu is behaving like seasonal flu.

However the WHO says

Countries should be ready for more serious H1N1 flu infections and more deaths from the newly discovered virus, World Health Organization chief Margaret Chan said on Friday.

Pressure has been growing for [WHO chief] Chan to factor in the severity of the newly-discovered disease as well as its geographic spread before sounding the pandemic alarm that several governments said could trigger unnecessary panic.
Reuters again.

DO NOT PANIC UNTIL IT BECOMES NECESSARY TO PANIC!!!

NYT goes Onion on Japan

Over the last few weeks, the New York Times has published a number of bizarre, half-nonsense articles on Japan. This week they've been on a roll, publishing two in a row.

First thing this morning they came up with an article of "hygiene-obsessed" Japan going into crisis mode over Swine flu complete with an obviously cropped-to-mislead photo of folks wearing masks on a Tokyo train meant to give the blatantly false impression that everyone---or at least a majority of people are wearing masks.

The story, despite the title (With flu fears rising Japan goes into crisis mode) and photo was mainly about Kobe which I think is in Japan, but is not Japan.

The crisis mode seems to be mostly in the media as most people I know are aware and concerned, but not in a crisis mode. One friend told me about not being able to find masks---probably because of all the imaginary mask-wearers on the Tokyo subway---but did not seem to be overly concerned.

The subway lines I use may be special, but there seemed to be no more than 4-5 mask-wearing-folks-in-crisis-mode per car yesterday morning or last night. The photo with the Hiroko Tabuchi NYT article shows that there were at least three mask-wearers hygiene-obsessed Tokyo train.

Wait, didn't Hiroko have the half-witted, half-the-story, back to the 80s piece about secure jobs and lifetime employment in Japan a few days ago in the NYT too? I wonder: After all the increasingly large percentage of the work-force who are temporary workers are laid off, what happens to employees at smaller companies when "suppliers are squeezed"? (Except for the small company, Shinano Kogyo, mentioned in the article where everything is wonderful.) And after all of these folks are fired, how can a reporter write an article about Japan's obsession with keeping its workers employed? Easy, count only "regular workers" and to hell with the rest. Just like the companies.

1540: Perhaps I was a bit early in the criticism of the Onion NYT article as none other than the authoritative Japan Times is reporting a panic near the wife's hometown after Swine flu was detected in some high school girls who had visited an unhygienic, disease-filled foreign country. Looking at the photo of Mizonokuchi station there---again conveniently cropped/framed for (misleading?) editorial purposes---it seems that a huge number of folks are donning masks. I missed that as I didn't work today and as usual avoid crowds and trains whenever I can. Panicked calls concerning the virus have increased from 150 per day to 250 since last evening. Seems a lot of folks have suddenly begun to feel that they have a fever. (Isn't this easy to determine?) Oh my god, we're all gonna die after all!!!!!! Do not panic.

And whatever you do, do not visit the real Onion and do a search for Japan.

We're doomed

"When patients cough, sneeze or speak, viruses in their saliva fly 2 or 3 meters," he said. Flu may be transmitted if the infected saliva reaches someone else's mouth or nose, or their hands and they rub their eyes or eat with them, he added.

Those worried about infection should also be careful when removing their masks...

...."You don't want to touch its surface, which has probably absorbed other people's saliva." Japan Times.

Think about that on your next adventure in public.

Meanwhile, folks in New York have other things to worry about: "...to air-kiss or not to air-kiss?"